Making an Entrance: A Newbie-Friendly Guide to Booking a Companion
- Chloe Faye
- Jan 4
- 8 min read
Updated: Jan 10
Let's face it: There's no real rulebook to these kinds of things, and why should there be? The adult industry is ever changing, with boundaries varying from person to person; I can't (and frankly, I won't) speak for anyone else in regards to what is 'standard', and it would be an impossible task to attempt to write a rulebook that encompasses the procedures of how everyone operates.
Even still, I can't help but feel that there are plenty of things that are general enough to touch upon that can help to simplify the booking process, regardless of what that may look like. Though I've tried to simplify my own procedures as much as possible, I still find myself sending newbies the New Client Guide from Tryst all too frequently. While I think it's an excellent resource overall, I have yet to see a guide that helps explain the actual process in depth.
With all of that in mind, I felt that it was due time to finally write a guide of my own that answers some questions that Tryst's client guide didn't, addressing industry faux pas, and just generally helping any potential newbies avoid shooting themselves in the foot during the booking process.
Your First Impression
When reaching out to a companion for the first time, your first impression can be crucial. Adding a friendly 'Hello {companion name}!' and a polite 'Excited to hear back from you soon'! may seem small, but it's the kind of etiquette that often gets overlooked in an email for these kinds of meetings.
Avoid asking any vulgar, crude, or inappropriate questions if possible. Many companions will not engage with any digital correspondence that is explicit in nature, with the occasional exception that the information is absolutely pertinent to booking (And no, that does not mean that you should message her a variety of crude acronyms, innuendos, or euphemisms as an alternative to a certain word. It's more about the principle and potential risks than it is the semantics!)
Include all of the necessary appointment details. Including all of the info from the get-go about what you're looking for can make the booking process a breeze. Again, you should generally avoid asking for overly explicit requests, or for any particular services.
Here's a quick list of things to be sure to include:
If you want to book incall (which means she hosts) or outcall (which means you host)
How long of an appointment you'd like
the part of town where you're located (if asking for an outcall request)
Screening information (see below)
Be sure to include the necessary screening that is requested on the providers ads or website. Including this information in your initial message ensures that the provider has all of the information required to determine whether or not they want to move forward. It greatly helps to streamline the process, reduce response times, and to make your companion feel the most comfortable. Sending screening within your first message is a fantastic way to say, "Hey! I'm a real client who is safe to be around, and I'm serious about booking!".
(Side note, but the default Tryst message fill-in-the-blank is the bane of my existence, with a close second of "Avail now? HH? QV? Greek? Car Date? Babe? Sent From My iPhone")
Optional: Tell us about yourself! Many providers prefer getting to know who we're meeting in person rather than digitally, but that doesn't mean we don't want to know anything about you! Tell us about the hobbies you have, your interests, passions, etc. It helps to humanize the interaction and give us a little bit more insight on the person we're about to meet. Note: If you do include this, try to keep it as a brief ice breaker, rather than multiple paragraphs of an autobiography.
Screening: For Your Safety and Ours
If you've never booked a provider before, and are brand new to the entire concept, there's no question as to why you'd be hesitant to send things like your drivers license, Linkedin, or other real world information (aka 'RWI').
The reality is that we want to make sure we're safe with you, and the easiest way to do that is with a quick, non-invasive background check. Most of us are looking for criminal history (primarily things like violent crimes, or things that may directly affect our safety), employment info (in areas where sex work is criminalized, it's critical that we are able to screen for law enforcement!), and if you have a history of seeing companions.
Some quick notes about screening:
If a provider that you're interested in asks for mandatory screening that you do not want to comply with, you should try seeking out someone else. Everyone's screening procedures are personal guidelines that help us to feel safe and secure with our dates. Pushing that boundary may turn us off from seeing you, and will likely feel frustrating on your end, too!
Many providers find that RWI is the easiest (and safest!) way to quickly screen someone. However, if you've seen other workers, you may be able to use references and 'members only' sites like P411, TER, or others to bypass this (though I highly discourage this route!).
You may typically block out sensitive information on ID's or passports, at the discretion of the person you're seeing. We don't generally don't care about things like your driver's license number or the street you live on; We just want to be able to put a REAL name to your face (The John Smith and Jane Doe emails are tiring and never-ending!), and utilize searchable material for our background check. You should usually keep in your date of birth, city/state, full legal name, and the expiration date on your identification...Please don't send a 20 year old ID!
Setting the Date and Sending a Deposit
If you've nailed screening, you're likely to get a request to send a deposit to secure a date. Companions will frequently request a deposit as a gesture of good faith, and as a commitment to the date. I tell clients that it helps to hold us both accountable; Knowing that I have someone else definitively expecting me somewhere makes me feel like things are more 'real', and that our time is solidified! It also acts as a safety net if, for whatever reason, you must cancel last minute
Some quick notes about deposits:
Like screening, deposits (for those who require them) are mandatory, and not negotiable. Some may be flexible on the options that they offer for a deposit, but please be advised that the sentiment is the same. If you're unsure about sending a deposit ahead of time, you should hold off from initiating the booking process.
Don't send explicit messages in the memo section for payment apps. This is a common way for us to get our accounts banned or flagged for things like spam or seemingly suspicious activity! Instead of commenting "Deposit for date", try putting the tagline of 'groceries' or just an emoji, and instead just email your provider after sending to verify the transaction.
Your deposit goes towards your booking total; It's not an added fee! Just make sure you bring the correct remainder in cash or otherwise at the time of meeting.
What to Expect Before the Appointment
Okay, so at this point, you've nailed the booking process. You're feeling good, there's some excitement built up, and the anticipation is killing you. But how do you ask her what to expect? Should you bring anything?
Don't fret: We're prepared and have everything we need! Offering to bring anything to an appointment is always a kind gesture, and sometimes we'll gladly take you up on it; But know that anything additional that you bring is not expected.
Protection, toys, and all of the debauchery you can dream of will be provided...allegedly. If you have something incredibly specific in mind that you're worried she may not have (let's be honest, you'll know the answer if your specific kink is super niche), a sealed in the box, brand new toy is usually welcomed to those who are toy and kink-friendly!
If you book an extended date, the provider may request refreshments, or 'social time'. This is more typical for appointments over 3-4 hours. All it means is that we'd like an opportunity to stretch our legs, get some air, and take a moment to refresh. We're not robots! Preferences and requests vary at the provider's discretion, but sealed refreshments, food (whether it's takeout or going out!), and light snacks help to keep the atmosphere light and ensure that everyone's got enough energy to spend hours of quality time together.
Try to refrain from sending too many emails between now and the booking; Many of us prefer in person connection (hence the nature of the job), and don't want a pen pal. We can talk about how excited we are to meet when we're face to face! Too many emails before or in between meeting can become overwhelming for your companion.
If you're hellbent on standing out and really want to make a good impression, try purchasing something off of her wishlist! Clothing items and lingerie can be a fun way to build the enthusiasm on her end, and if you ask nicely, you can potentially request to see her in the outfit at the time of meeting!
If you booked an incall appointment, expect the address to be sent out the day of the appointment; As a safety measure, many do not provide their address ahead of time, so don't fret if you haven't heard from her til the morning of!
Judgment Day
Your entire life has led to this moment. You always knew that you were destined to spend time around beautiful women and wonderful people. You're ready. You're excited. You did it, kid. You made it.
Day of The Appointment™️ checklist, incoming:
HYGIENE: Though your companion may ask you to shower upon arrival, please prepare by showering, brushing your teeth, flossing, using mouthwash, deodorant, and using cologne (if you get down like that). And if this sounds silly and obvious, just know that it has to be written for a reason 😅
Cash: Please expect to bring the remainder of the owed amount in cash, unless your companion has explicitly requested or agreed upon otherwise. Please bring her larger bills such as 50s or 100s, tucked in an envelope or otherwise (I personally love when people put bills in books or vinyl records!); $1000 worth of crumpled $5 bills from your pocket is uncouth.
Prepare to be as on time as possible; Your companion has likely scheduled the rest of her day around the appointment that you have, and cannot guarantee to move the appointment time last minute. This goes for both being early or late! If you're too early, she may request that you hang out in your car, outside, or in the hotel lobby; If you're too late, she may not allow you to make up for the time you've missed, which then eats away at your scheduled time together!
Avoid overly-personal questions; Getting to know each other is one thing, but asking specifics like, "What's your real name?", "How many clients have you seen today?", or "What/Where is your dayjob? Can I come see you there?", can feel discomforting and intrusive to your new friend. If your companion wants to tell you about their other work, clientele, or personal info, they'll offer it up to you! Just let the conversation flow organically and try to keep things light.
Relax: The first time can be nerve wracking, but don't let the last minute jitters give you cold feet beforehand! The right companion will make you feel totally at ease. Don't be afraid to let us know that you're nervous or new to this!
Overall
While this list aims to be fairly comprehensive and extensive, it's important to read over the website and ads of the providers that you want to see, and to follow their booking procedures as requested. If you're uncomfortable following a provider's requested policies, you may have to seek out someone else that's better suited to your needs. It's also worth noting that this guide is written as means to guide you through the booking process for reputable, real, providers. Oftentimes, scam accounts, bots, and fake profiles will allow you to bypass these protocols, which can lead to a negative experience and distrust. While the screening and booking process looks unique to everyone (and some may very well exclude the things mentioned here!), it's more often than not a good sign that your provider takes both this work and her safety seriously.